Life Lessons from Death
Evaluating your life through the lens of your own mortality is a raw, powerful, and perhaps a bit scary exercise. But it's also an incredibly insightful one. When we contemplate our eventual demise, what truly matters becomes crystal clear. We become acutely aware of the gap between who we are and who we aspire to be.
Initially, what often comes to mind are the ways we want to positively impact others. Was I there when the people I love needed me? Did I make time for the people closest to me? Am I the partner, parent, and community member that I truly want to be? We start to see the everyday moments and relationships as being far more important than any big prizes or accolades.
Travel, personal accomplishments, and financial success may seem less relevant when viewed through this lens. Instead, we become aware of how we spent our time and whether we lived with intention and purpose. Did we actively participate in our communities? Did we help others achieve their dreams? Did we leave the world a better place than we found it?
When you know the destination, the path to get there becomes much clearer. As the philosopher Aristotle said, "Knowledge of the best good carries great weight for knowing the best way to live: if we know it, then like archers who have a target to aim at, we are more likely to hit the right mark."
Realigning Priorities
If this were your final year of life, would you be living the same way you are today? When you imagine your older self and what you want your life to look like in hindsight, you stop getting caught up in the small, reactive things. Instead, you start to see what actually matters to you on a deeper level.
Step 1
After doing this thought experiment, I've started making concrete changes in my life. I've prioritized my health by eating better, sleeping more, and exercising regularly. Why? Because in order to live a long, fulfilling life and do all the things I aspire to, I need to be physically healthy and vital.
Step 2
I've also become more present and intentional as a father. The thought of my children growing up without me there has motivated me to be a more engaged, nurturing, and supportive parent. I don't want to have any regrets about the time I spent with them.
As I continue to sit with this mortality-focused reflection, my mind also wanders to what people will say about me after I'm gone, when there is no opportunity for me to respond. What will people really say? Whatever it is, my opportunity to change it is right now - while I still have time. Not all of what people say will be kind, so that means I have some relationships to repair. I can do that now, though. I can be the bigger person. Why? Because it matters to me.
Aligning with What Truly Matters
Ultimately, this kind of contemplation helps me better understand what I truly want out of life, and to rigorously evaluate whether the things I currently spend time and energy on are actually worth wanting. As Shane Parrish says, "Good judgment is, above all else, having wisdom."
If you want to develop good judgment, start by asking two questions: "What do I want in life? And is what I want actually worth wanting?" Until you've answered the second question, all the decision-making advice in the world won't do you much good.
The philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said, "When you are distressed by an external thing, it's not the thing itself that troubles you, but only your judgment of it. And you can wipe this out at a moment's notice."
Shifting our perspective to the end of life can help us gain invaluable insight into what truly matters. It allows us to turn our future hindsight into our current foresight. When we look back at the present through the lens of our life ending, the fears and desires that occupy our attention in the moment get pushed aside to make room for the things that have greater meaning and significance for our lives as a whole.