The Social Default
The social default inspires conformity. It coaxes us to fall in line with an idea or behavior simply because other people do. It embodies what the term "social pressure" refers to: wanting to belong to the crowd, fear of being an outsider, fear of being scorned, fear of disappointing other people.
Our desire to fit in often overpowers our desire for a better outcome. Instead of trying something new, we tell ourselves something new. Deviating from established practices can be painful. Who wants to try something different that might not work? We could end up losing people's respect, their friendship, and even our job if we deviate too far from the status quo without producing the right results. This is why we rarely try new approaches, and when we do, we often proceed with so much trepidation that the smallest setback sends us back to the safety blanket of conformity.
The people executing established practices say they want new ideas, but they just don't want the bad ones. And because they so want to avoid the bad ones, they never deviate enough to find new good ones.
While we need divergence from the norm to make progress, not all divergence is advantageous. To be successful, it's not enough to do something different; you also need to be right. To do something different, you need to think different. And that means you will stand out.
Lemmings Rarely Make History
The social default makes us fear being snubbed, ridiculed, and treated like an idiot. In most people's minds, this fear of losing social capital outweighs any potential upsides of deviating from the social norm and disposes them to accept it.
Fear holds us back from taking risks and reaching our potential.
No one grows up saying "I want to do the same thing everyone else is doing." And yet there is a comfort to surrounding yourself with people who agree with you, or who are doing the same thing you're doing. So while there is sometimes embedded wisdom in the crowd, mistaking the comfort of the collective for evidence that what you're doing is going to lead to better results is the social default's big lie.
Doing something different means you might underperform, but it also means you might change the game entirely. If you do what everyone else does, you'll get the same results that everyone else gets. Best practices aren't always the best. By definition, they're average.
Change happens only when you're willing to think independently, when you do what nobody else is doing, and risk looking like a fool because of it. Once you realize you've been doing what everyone else is doing---and only because they're already doing it---it's time to try something new.
Step 1
If you find yourself exerting energy to fit in with a crowd, if you're frequently fearful of disappointing other people, if you're afraid of being an outsider, or if the threat of scorn fills you with dread, then beware! The social default is in charge.
Step 2
To overcome the social default, focus on cultivating self-confidence and self-accountability. Surround yourself with exemplars who embody the level of independence and nonconformity you want to develop. Be willing to stand out, try new things, and risk looking foolish in the short-term for the sake of long-term growth and success.