The Emotion Default
When faced with a situation that triggers our emotions, we often react without reasoning. Our anger, fear, or other feelings compel us to act immediately, rarely serving our long-term interests.
Emotions can be a powerful force, but they can also lead us astray if we don't learn to manage them. Consider the character of Sonny Corleone in The Godfather. Sonny is known for his quick temper and impulsive behavior, which ultimately leads to his downfall. His inability to control his emotions prevents him from making sound decisions, and he becomes a victim of his own defaults.
In contrast, Vito Corleone, the patriarch of the family, is a master of patience and discipline. He never reacts without reasoning, and when he does react, it is with ruthless effectiveness. Vito's self-control is a key factor in his success.
Our emotions can "multiply all of our progress by zero." Even the best-laid plans and hard work can be undone in an instant when we let our feelings take over. Anger at a rival, fear of losing an opportunity, or outrage at a criticism can cause us to lash out and damage relationships or miss out on important opportunities.
Emotions can make even the best of us into idiots, driving us away from clear thinking.
Our biological defaults make us particularly vulnerable to the emotion default in certain situations. When we're sleep-deprived, hungry, fatigued, or in an unfamiliar environment, we're more likely to react without reasoning. These conditions can hijack our biology and shut down our ability to think clearly.
The key to overcoming the emotion default is to create space between the trigger and our response. We need to develop the self-control to pause, take a breath, and engage our reasoning faculties before acting. This is where the strengths we discussed in the previous section, like self-accountability, self-knowledge, and self-confidence, become so important.
Step 1
Recognize when your emotions are being triggered and threatening to take over. Pay attention to the physical and mental sensations that signal you're about to react without reasoning.
Step 2
Pause and take a deep breath. This simple act can create the necessary space to engage your rational mind rather than blindly following your emotions.
Step 3
Reflect on the situation and ask yourself, "Will this action make the future easier or harder?" This question can help you step back and consider the long-term consequences of your response, rather than just the immediate gratification.
Step 4
Respond thoughtfully, not reactively. Use the tools and strengths you've developed to make a decision that serves your best interests, not just your emotions.
By mastering the emotion default, you can avoid the costly mistakes that come from acting on impulse. Instead, you'll be able to navigate challenging situations with clear thinking and good judgment, putting you in a much better position to achieve your goals.