Exemplars + Practice
Choosing the right exemplars---ones that raise your standards---is key to building strength and overcoming your defaults. And pairing that with deliberate practice is how you turn those exemplars into instincts.
Show me your role models and I'll show you your future. The people you choose to surround yourself with, whether in person or through books, podcasts, and other media, will have a profound influence on the trajectory of your life. Exemplars are more than just inspiration---they set the bar for what's possible and what's expected.
When you curate the people in your life, you're not just influencing your present circumstances. You're shaping your future self.
Your Personal Board of Directors
Put all of your exemplars on your "personal board of directors," a group of people you look to for guidance, wisdom, and a model of the type of person you aspire to become. This board can include a mix of high-achieving experts as well as those who embody strong character and values. The only requirement is that they possess attributes you want to cultivate in yourself.
Your personal board doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, everyone has flaws. But everyone is better than you at something. Your job is to figure out what that something is and learn from it, while ignoring the rest.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is refusing to learn from someone who has a character blemish or a worldview that doesn't perfectly align with their own. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
Your personal board of directors isn't static. People come and go as you grow and evolve. You're always curating the list, bringing on new exemplars and letting go of those you've learned from. Each person tends to lead you to the next.
Step 1
Identify the key attributes, skills, and values you want to cultivate in yourself. These will serve as the criteria for choosing your exemplars.
Step 2
Populate your personal board of directors with people, whether living or historical, who embody those qualities. Seek out a diverse range of perspectives and backgrounds.
Step 3
Regularly reflect on what you're learning from each of your exemplars. Consider how you can apply those lessons to your own life and decision-making.
Deliberate Practice
It's not enough to just choose the right exemplars. You have to deliberately practice imitating them. Turning those exemplars into instincts requires consistent, purposeful effort.
One effective strategy is to imagine your exemplars watching you in the moment. What would they do in your shoes? How would they respond? Then, act accordingly. Keep practicing until that pattern becomes second nature.
Practicing in a "sandbox" environment, where the stakes are low, can be a great way to develop new habits and skills before applying them in high-stakes situations.
Masters don't just know what to do, they've habituated it. And you can do the same by deliberately practicing the behaviors and decision-making processes of your exemplars until they become an integral part of who you are.
The people you surround yourself with aren't just your peers. They're also serving on the personal boards of directors for others. There's someone out there looking up to you and using your behavior as their North Star. Everything you do has the power to change someone else's life for the better.
So choose your exemplars wisely, and put in the work to make their standards your own. The future you're shaping may be your own, but it's also the future of those who are watching and learning from you.